
There is something a bit whimsical and wry about this sign. It is a bit mean, passive-aggressive in a good way, and oblique. Everyone knows who “they” are. First, the little white golf cart looking vehicle with the guy wearing a bike helmet and the $63 blocking residential door ticket. Then the yellow tow truck and the $500 tow charge. Then the crazy hourly fees for storying your car far away from where you parked it. The parking tickets in San Francisco are all outlined in
https://www.sfmta.com/sites/default/files/reports-and-documents/2024/05/sfmta_fees_and_fines_for_posting_effective_april_16_2025.pdf. One of the constants of living in San Francisco, is that parking tickets always go up.

Then there is the nice way to say “do not block my driveway.” Do take some fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies on the top stairs before you head off, drive around for 15 minutes and try to find that elusive place to park. Have a wonderful day. Thank you!

Then there is the sign you buy at the hardware store that is very direct. It does not matter what your first language is, this one, with the universal iconography of the tow truck and the car, tells you exactly what will happen. It is a bit like those instructions for IKEA furniture. Does it really even need words? This one is the opposite of the snarky “if you park here they will come” sign. It is ADA approved but forget about the cookies at the top of the stairs. Do not even think about ringing the doorbell.

Indeed, crime is on the rise in San Francisco. Someone, evidently, cannot get enough to read and is walking off with the neighbor’s San Francisco Chronicle.

The grand finale of this signage journey is a handmade sign from the counter in a local Salvadorian bakery. While “NO SE PRESTA EL BANO – The bathroom doesn’t lend itself” is not a NO PARKING sign, in a way it is. It is telling the world that you are not welcome. In this case, it is you ass on the throne in our water closet. The literal translation works just fine. Impressive that they got the apostrophe in the correct place. I am glad that they did not draw any pictures.