ACT 1: Humans are Now Expendable
STOP HIRING HUMANS
– Sign pulled by a plane flying over the San Francisco Bay
It is really such strange times that we live in. The airplane was invented but a little over hundred years ago. At one point the only place airplanes landed in San Francisco was at Crissy Field. Not far from Chrissy Field, flying over the San Francisco Bay a small propeller-prop plane was observed recently pulling a sign that said “STOP HIRING HUMANS.” In the background was Alcatraz. What can this mean? Universal income for all? Are we all going to just get fat and roll over? You definitely have to give credit to whomever paid for this advertisement, but the crucial question is was there a person in the cockpit flying the plane? Does he have a parachute if things do not work out?
ACT 2: How to Cook an Artichoke
It’s that time of year again. You will see them in piles at the grocery store or better yet – at a farmers market. Maybe $2 each. Sometimes less. It is the artichoke. What is this thing? Is it a vegetable? Maybe a plant from outer space? Actually it is but a flower. They love dancing in the fog. When they are fresh, they can be absolutely divine.
STEP ONE: Take a big pasta pot and fill it with water and set it to boil.
STEP TWO: Assess your artichoke. I prefer to take a clean scissors and cut off the leaf ends. Trim off the often prickly ends. You will not eat this part anyway.
STEP THREE: Wash the artichoke under cool water. Open up the center and allow any bugs to come out of hiding. Sometimes there are pincher bugs that like to move in. You are now the evil landlord evicting the tenants. Be gentle though, and take the creator to the window and toss her out of the house. You did her a favor. Soon you will find out.
STEP FOUR: Put the artichokes in the boiling pot. Add some salt in on the leaves of the artichokes. Boil for one hour. Yes. One hour. A good medium boil will do. Remember – Rome was not built in a day you know.
STEP FIVE: After an hour, using tongs, take the artichokes out and put them in bowl. Poke them with a fork to make sure they are completely dead. If the stem is still hard leave the artichokes in the hot water for more time, otherwise set aside.
STEP SIX: And here, ladies and gentlemen is my secret. Take a few tabs of butter and place them on the leaves, squeeze a lemon on these same leaves. Add a little more salt. The heat of the artichoke will melt the butter. Wait about five minutes before serving.
Eat the meat in the leaves by pulling them off one at a time. When you make it to the heart. Cut that out away from the hairypart and share with you friend. If you have no friends, sharing and artichoke heart will get you some.
That is my artichoke rant. Aren’t you glad you made it this far!
ACT 3: The Valencia Bike Does Actually Work
While the San Francisco Chronicle rambles on about how great it is that humans are slowy being replaced by the tech bros in the taxi business, a story that goes unreported is that the Valencia bike lane now does work. Zig zagging your way down to Market Street was evidently the best way. Humans. Sometimes they get some things right.
ACT 4: Donald Trump is Just Jealous
It is an odd thing that no one has come to the realization that Donald Trump is simply jealous. When the U.S. sent in that stealth force into Caracas and kidnapped Nicolas Madura, what was really happening was that Trump was going after a leader who simply outdid him in the coup category. Maduro stayed in power by claiming he had won the election when it was quite apparent that he did not. Maduro outdid Trump by having a successful coup. Donald was perhaps pissed off that he had been outdone. January 6th. If only that Pence guy had a spine!
By the way poor Nicolas seems to have fallen off the news radar. Reports about the prison food? What are the conditions like? We need details.
With Iran, it is a matter of being jealousy of the Iranian style of government. Iran is a Religious Theocracy, the exact same of government that the current batch of Republicans esteem to. Instead of Islam they of course prefer Christianity. Instead of Mohammed it is Jesus. In the end, it is simply jealousy.
While Trump is perhaps the most non-religious president in United States history, the reason he is in power is because of these religious fanatics who’s course he follows in his usual transactional style. Trump and his crazy entourage are all just fighting because they have been outdone.
Those are my rants. I have some artichokes to eat.